Moving On

I’m not in love with her anymore. 

I write it
to make it more real. 
To come to terms with
its resonances and reverberations. 

I’m not in love with her anymore

And sometimes I don’t know
where that actually leaves me. 

Standing still at the top of the mountain ready to finally walk down the other side. 

Paralyzed by the not knowing
what lies beyond this
beautiful sunset. 

I’m not in love with her anymore. 

All the space she still takes in my heart are just cracks marking the places where I once held her, but couldn’t keep her. 

I’m not in love with her anymore. 

That same phrase over and over again. I say it so I can believe it. 

I’m not in love with her anymore. 

Healing a Hearbreak

Let yourself be angry. 

Smash something. 

Yell at the moon. 

Yell into your pillow. 

Express this anger. 

You have the right to be angry. 
Admit where you were wrong. 

Promise yourself not to make those same mistakes in the future. 
Allow yourself to hurt. 

This is not easy. 

Feel this. 

Move in and out of the sadness

Do not let the darkness consume you. 

If it does, thank it for holding you. 
Acknowledge where you were right

Promise yourself to do those same

Things in the future. 
Be a little lost. 

Make new mistakes. 

Learn something. 

Keep growing. 
Find your loneliness. 

Ask it what it wants from you. 

Learn what it means. 

Transform it into loveliness. 
Allow yourself time. 

This is not linear. 

There is no beginning or ending. 

This is about distance. 
Ask for help. 

Allow people to help you. 

Do not betray your own needs. 

Figure out what you need. 
Allow yourself to feel joy. 

Remember that it still exists. 

Laugh at the little things

Let them push you forward. 
Create something new. 

Rearrange your furniture

Rearrange your memories

Make small changes. 
Love your anger. 

Love your sadness. 

Love your lonely. 

Love your joy. 

These are messengers. 

Listen to them. 

But be careful not to believe

Everything they say. 
Learn to 

Love yourself

Whole again. 

Untitled

Loving you is like

Loving in an empty room

With a revolving door 

Waving an exit only sign
We meet in the circle. 

The closest we can ever get

To each other
As we dance

Separated by the thick

Dirty glass

we so desperately

 want to clean break through 

pushing

Never knowing 

who is chasing whom

And never catching up

Dizzying ourselves until
The door sticks and we

Stop to admire the beauty 

on every other side
Going back we decide to move forward

Again through the ever revolving Door 

we never figured out how to enter

Yelling through the glass for the other one to get out and stay so we would know that the room was finally safe

Loving you is like

Loving in an empty room

We never risked to occupy. 

Hunger Pains

My knees gave way to the heat of our last fight
This time it was different
No screaming, no punching, just
Skin separating from my chicken bones
I tried to hold the pressure under the lid

Asked her if she still loved me.
Yeah
One word escaped as steam through the pressure

I need you to leave
I will call you

On my knees, I begged her to let me live

I drove home
Delusional from the hunger
pains, thinking
That I was her girlfriend.